By Hugo Martinez
Is sexual abstinence the will of God for my life?
In the Spanish Program at Christ For The Nations, my wife and I give a class each year in which we talk about dating, marriage, family and ministry. In this class, we touch on a very difficult subject to teach young people—sexual abstinence. As believers, they want to know what God’s will is in this matter for their lives, since today young people think and say, “I do not want to follow any religion or go to any church where sex is thought to be dirty.”
Unfortunately, the entertainment industry has influenced how we should think and feel about this subject. We are bombarded in our homes week by week with scenes of young people and adults who get in and out of the beds of others as if they were sexual robots. Only the eccentric and “weird ones” are presented as chaste because they are too stupid and ugly to find a mate or partner.
The message they are sending to young people is undoubtedly the following: If I do it, then I am part of the group; since everyone does it, I must do it. What we should note here is that of course the beautiful young actors in those hot dramas never face the consequences of their sexual disorders. No one ever gets infected with herpes, syphilis, chlamydia or AIDS. None of them is ever told by a doctor that there is no cure for the disease they have contracted and that they have to endure the pain of illness for the rest of their lives. The reality is that our entertainment culture has conditioned parents and children to think that this how things should be. It is normal; everybody does it.
Of course, the first thing to remember is that sex was made by God. God created it—it was God’s idea. We emphatically assert that sexual intercourse in the context of a marriage full of love and commitment is the most exciting and wonderful thing one can ever know. It is the greatest gift in the world. God has not created anything better than this in marriage. But outside of marriage, it can be the most devastating thing you can do in your life; it can destroy everything that you have hoped for.
Let’s look at what the Word of God says in 1 Thessalonians 4:3:
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you His Holy Spirit.”
God’s answer in His word is clear, affirmative and simple. There can be no misunderstandings. It is not even necessary to pray to have some interpretation or receive some revelation. Here God has already said what His will is. To know the will of God in relation to abstinence, you just have to read the passage; there is no way to dodge and look for another alternative. God says it in such a clear way that it can be resolved once and for all for every believer who wants to know God’s will in this matter. Sexual abstinence until marriage is God’s perfect plan.
A couple of young believers once told me, “We are struggling in this situation. We have sexually surrendered to each other. It was not our intention, but now we have trouble stopping. We do not know if it is bad or not, because we love one another.” My immediate answer was simple and clear; search for this passage, read it, underline it and discover what the will of God is for your lives. This makes it clear, both to those young believers who already have had sex and those who do not know if it is God’s will, to stop doing it.
Hebrews 13:4 puts it in a way that solves a lot of confusion regarding this matter. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” With this statement, it is clear that having sex is outside the will of God. Do not ask God if you should live together or get married. God has already said what His will is. If you are already living together and really want to follow God’s will, you should immediately stop living together, because doing so is outside the will of God. This is not an idea of mine; this is directly from the Book that is the foundation of our beliefs.
In the second part of this article, we will present another truth that we need to teach young people: Sexual abstinence until marriage is the divine plan to save your life!
Don’t miss Part 2 of this article in the Summer issue of The Voice.Like what you've read? Receive free email updates from The Voice Online: Subscribe